Music

Fish Tears

I really went with the "ambient" vibe for this one. Normally my chords would be played by some sort of piano or synth but I decided to go with bells as the main instrument as a nylon guitar plays an arppregio throughout the song. I wanted to convey a beautiful landscape while being submerged underwater (if that makes any sense)

No One Will Teach Me How to Grow Up

This song features Hhnglee

I made this on a day when I was sick and couldn't go to school, so I just sat down and VC'ed my friend while I made something and it ended up being an accidental but insane collab! The track takes inspiration from trance music and some jersey club as well. The main and beginning melody is actually something I made back in September of 2024 as a sketch, and I turned it into a small lofi demo before eventually making a fully fledged track like this. The original carried like a "reality is kinda mean and I don't know how to deal with it" type of thing, and this version conveys naiveness and a carefree but chaotic? spirit.

I Want to Be 15 for Another Year

The guitar in this song was played by Hhnglee

I think this chord progression is not really common so I tried to mess with it a little bit. To be honest I am pretty proud of the mixing on this because thanks to my friend's guitar, it made the overall song sound fuller. I think I added a bit of that "fleeting and lonely" essence into it well, mainly through the little breaks that felt like you were drifting through a vast space. The call and response synths in the drops were something I really liked too.

Adenosine

Adenosine was my first track in the UKG genre, which I really liked. The sound palette here might be a little bit different from the rest of the album since it was made a bit prior to many of the other tracks. I don't know if its prevalent but the song is very much inspired by minecraft, since at the time I was just playing the game a bit too much! I was also struggling with balancing my schedule which led to a lot of overworking and toxic work ethics for myself, so I think it has that trying to hold myself together when everything is out of control vibe. I also kind of like the sound design in this track with all the percs and stuff. The synth solo is supposed to be a bit of a joke since the name is Adeno-sine, and I thought it would be funny to put a sine wave solo in.

Mua Cu The Roi

The guitar in this song was played by Hhnglee

Arrangement on this song was assisted by Vortax

I was very conflicted on whether or not I wanted to have a vocal song in here, since I don't really know how to sing, but I decided I would do it anyway. The instrumental itself is inspired by alot of botanica projects that I listened to at the time, as well as the Nurture album by Porter Robinson. This project sounded really different initially, but after some assistance from my friend I was able to transform it into this. The lyrics itself uses alot of metaphors of rain, which I think is kind of reflected in the title. The little piano solo near the end is also a little foreshadow to the next song which I hope someone catches on to! Needless to say, probably one of my favourite and most personal tracks that I have worked on.

This Lamp Looks Weird

For this one I had somewhat of a vision before starting, like imagine being in a dark room with only a lamp emitting a small warm glow and suddenly being transported to some kind of utopia. I think the soft piano conveys the tranquil and cozy feeling of the lamp in a dark room very well, and I tried to build the drops so they resemble being in an euphoric place where you achieve all of your dreams before snapping back to reality as you carry a bit of melancholy afterwards. Sound designing and layering this track was really fun as well.

I Talk Alot, I Know

This was more of a composition rather than a production, and to be fair I haven't had one of these in a while. There was alot of experimentation on how to implement rubato in a DAW and make it feel more natural, and I had to do alot of miniscule tempo automations to achieve this way of playing. This piece was also written in 6/8 time! I tried to portray this feeling of loneliness which starts off as quiet and isolated as it slowly transitions to a sense of desperation.

Surviving On 1hp

Probably the oldest track out of the bunch. I have always wanted to release this but I never really found the occassion until now. The mastering on this track may be a little bit sub-par compared to the others, but it's supposed to be lofi so I can kind of excuse the poor low end on the master (not really). At the time I tried making something like a "game over" kind of song, like you've lost and you're just laying a bit hopeless before you close your eyes. However, I also wanted to make it sound pretty and added a few orchestral elements, like a way to signify that it's not over yet and it's just a bit of a roadblock, a hard phase.

It's Okay to Not Be Okay

Sample for this track was provided by Snoofy and AceHedge

This was made at the beginning of 2026 for a sample contest hosted by Snoofy. I put my all into it and it was also my first time experimenting with some botanica elements, which also set in stone the direction for the remaining of the album (yes this song is very important). The I Want to Die as Something Great leitmotif is present as a symbolic choice. I still carry that feeling, but it changes with every album (that's why ever since athazagoraphobia the closing tracks all contain instances of this song). I think the soft piano really adds this feeling of being hugged or is a metaphor for reassurance, and the drops could describe the feeling of holding on and pushing forward.